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Toby tried to chat up a girl in a cafe once – it was a disaster. From his first word everything came out wrong, spiralling out of control until he was writhing on the floor in a curious mixture of blood and vomit.

He should have known.

These days Toby approaches women a little differently. Usually from behind dense bush with a pair of binoculars in hand. He’s determined to find out everything there is to know about a girl before he even speaks to her, so he can’t possibly screw things up again. Sure it’s unconventional, it may even be illegal, but Toby’s not going to let that stop him finding true love.

And now he’s found her – the girl of his dreams. She’s beautiful, she’s caring, and she catches the number 17 bus home from work most week nights.

All he has to do now is meet her.

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